Brands aren’t our besties
Why we won’t find community at the checkout 🛍️
Oh hey! Welcome to the first digital edition of Not Buying It - an inbox-sized column dishing the dirt on juicy fashion topics (especially those that didn’t make it to print!) This month’s theme is the commodification of community. We’re diving straight into the deep end so strap in for:
👀 The tea on fashion’s fave new buzzword
❓The ultimate BFF quiz
✨ This month’s recs
If you like what you read, subscribe to get next month’s issue sent straight to your inbox!! 💖
Nobody likes that friend who only texts you when they want something. The notification comes through, and your inner Coleen Rooney instantly susses out their true motive. Lately, brands have been handing out metaphorical bff bracelets but honestly? They’re the definition of that friend: they flake on their promises, only show up when it suits them and still demand total loyalty.
If I took a shot every time a big brand yapped on about #community, I’d be on the floor. But to truly understand this new era, we first need to throw it back to a time of rose gold, cut creases and fidget spinners. I’m talking about 2017 - the year when nobody was safe from Wendy’s beefing you on Twitter. Their clapbacks did nuuumbers, providing brands the blueprint to seem relatable, funny and, worst of all, weirdly human.
Wendy’s really walked so the Duolingo owl and lipsyncing RyanAir plane could run. Appealing to Gen Z’s active dislike of ads, brands are appropriating online humour and trends to get past our defences. Now everyone’s competing for the next viral moment by appearing as uncorporate as poss.
This goes well beyond mascots. See, there’s being conversational, and then there’s posting like an unhinged teenager grieving the Tumblr glory days. Babe, you’re a corp with an old white male CEO who knows zero internet lingo!
In the fashion word, Boohoo, ASOS and I Saw It First mastered the girl boss Twitter vibe in three easy steps:
1️⃣ Screenshot a trending meme.
2️⃣ Repost it without credit.
3️⃣ Add a one liner caption like “me”.
Poster girl PrettyLittleThing shared daily (stolen??) content that was only relatable to its customers, and not the women making its clothes. When I tracked a month of PLT’s tweets back in Jan 2021, I found a repetitive feed of aspirational quotes and struggle memes. Yes, PLT was really out here tweeting about having a £10 budget for the rest of the month in the same year they made £75.1 million in profits. £10 btw is three times the illegal hourly rate paid to their Leicester garment workers in 2018.
After Twitter nosedived in 2023 (nice one, Elon), brands like Fashion Nova carried the baton of cringey posts over to Instagram’s Threads. But it never really took off in the same way, leaving the industry to hunt for the next space to hijack. Enter community: something we desperately need but that most of us lack.
Charitable, right? Wrong. This community has a distinctly commercial taste. Sometimes you gotta pay just to join the club! Nike’s training app, Mui Mui’s book club, Tala’s community runs, Tate’s gifted customer trips, Sephora’s forum, lululemon’s “community hub” store, Ralph Lauren’s cafes, Boohoo’s broadcast group and more pop-ups than I can ever name - the list is exhausting because everyone’s at it.
In her fab YT video, Katie Robinson explains that, thanks to US tariffs and a string of luxury scandals, the fashion industry is in free fall. And when Gen Z is choosing memories over products, brands are following them offline. Controversial influencer trips and old school advertising are being swapped out for curated experiences. “Community” is Big Fashion’s ticket to becoming relevant again.
Call me a hater, but it gives me the ick because…
🫰 It’s transactional: If it’s calculated, I don’t want it! These “community” initiatives aren’t a win-win sitch. They’re transactional, deliberately tapping into the emotions that make us more likely to shop. The price of belonging? A purchase or entry free - unless you want eternal FOMO, that is. They say the cost of community is inconvenience but who is really losing out here? Brands get your hard-earned cash and you get a hastily made purchase you might later regret.
🩹 It’s a plaster for a much bigger wound: When you really deep it, capitalism is the reason we all feel so isolated. We’re stuck in a rat race that pits us against each other and keeps us too busy for IRL connection. Individualism + overtime + doomscrolling = we’re all really lonely. Brands clocked that we’re craving experiences and memories, and swooped in with the tonic. It’s giving manipulation.
💔 It’s one-sided: Brands want to act like our besties so we buy their recommendations and forgive them when they cross the line. But they’re not our friends or even human. They’re huge corporations whose sole purpose for existence is growth and profit. The rise of influencer brands has added a new parasocial layer to this. Silly team pranks, BTS footage and founder GRWM’s make it easier to buy into brands as people. Have you noticed how hard customers are batting for brands over on TikTok lately? It’s deffo a symptom of community marketing. (For more tea on influencers, check out pg 28-29 of the mag)
✋ It’s an exclusive members-only club: Democratising fashion? Ugh, as if! Brands don’t actually care about making their communities inclusive and participatory. They’re too busy exploiting garment workers (who don’t get an invite), rolling back their DEI commitments and burdening communities with their textile waste.
I’m not here to stop you from going to any events or pop-ups that feel authentic to you. But we can’t let brands be a substitute for real community. Community isn’t tapping your card at the checkout. It’s showing up when needed, providing a safe space where everyone has a say and coming together for a bigger mission. Community goes both ways.
💥 Quiz time!!
Wanna hang out IRL? 💋
Serious question: Why go to a brand pop-up when you can come along to a Not Buying It event?
So far we’ve 1) celebrated the launch of the print mag with temporary tatts and DIY bag charms and 2) made zines out of early 2000 mags. Both events were SO much fun, bringing together the girlies who want to keep showing up for a fairer fashion industry 🫶
With the end of this year in sight, I’m scheming away for 2026. Here’s the vision: monthly events hosted first in either London or Bristol (my two homes) before making their way across the UK. Think more crafty socials, charity shop crawls and stitch & bitches.
All upcoming events will be shared here, on Instagram and in a general event calendar (launching soon) so you can find more slow fashion events near you. If you’ve got an event idea or wanna collab, slide into my DMs!
Gimme more: November recommendations 🧃
🎤 Tell brands to Speak Volumes: Those same brands jumping on the community bandwagon? They won’t even trust their “community” with their biggest secret: how many clothes they make (aka overproduce) a year. Ahead of Black Friday, nominate the brands you want to fess up.
🛍️ Let’s stop glamourising girl debt: A recent episode of the Polyester podcast exposed how buy now, pay later schemes like Klarna girl-ify debt and fuel shopping addictions. Listen to it here.
❌ How to debrand your life: I usually hate this word but I truly am obsessed with Chessie Domrongchai, an ex-beauty influencer who has started a movement removing all brand labels from her home. This is what de-influencing dreams are made of!
💥 There’s no sustainability without dignified jobs: This is a must-read interview with former child labourer and Bangladeshi labour activist Kalpona Akter. Her work and words are a poignant reminder that brands’ climate pledges mean jack if the people making their clothes go hungry. Read it here.
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💗 Sharing it on socials or forwarding it to your bestie
See you next month! Mel xo
Absolutely!!! Brands are not our friends, they just have insane amounts of our data & psychologically manipulating tactics so they know how to tap into our loneliness/social isolation. Great piece!
This is so spot on 👏🏼 And speaks to the lack of third spaces in so many cities, no wonder brands have filled the void.